BO-RING!

“Why are they wasting resources fooling with .30 Super Carry? It’ll never catch on. Just make 9mm!”

“The 6.5mm Creedmoor is stupid. It’s the same round as the 6.5mm Swede! Who needs it?”

“The .277 Fury? If the military needs a more powerful cartridge, they should just go back to the tried-and-true 7.62mm!”

There’s nothing like the griping of internet gun experts when an ammunition or firearms manufacturer announces a new cartridge, is there? Fortunately, confidential sources inside the industry inform me that all the major gun and ammo makers have formed a new industry alliance called NOPEC…Now Only Producing Essential Cartridges. Those sources have also shared with me a secret copy of a pending press release from the newly formed NOPEC cabal, an excerpt of which I’d like to share:

“We take the feedback of the gun-owning community very seriously, and in response to overwhelming internet commentary regarding new ammunition cartridges and chamberings, we have organized the industry under the banner of NOPEC…Now Only Producing Essential Cartridges. As such, we are ceasing all development of new calibers and cartridges. You already have all the types of ammunition you will ever need, so we will be focusing all production on standard calibers like 9mm, 5.56x45mm, 7.62x51, and 12 gauge. There is nothing you need to do that can’t be done with these, and producing other stuff just diverts production capacity which we could be using to crank out those loads. Frankly, it’s a waste…just like you told us. If you have other cartridges you like, we suggest you buy up all you can find right now, because they’re unnecessary and we’re not making them anymore. Or maybe take up reloading. We are confident that this will put an end to all the complaining.

“Welcome to the era of NOPEC. Our motto, ‘You want 9mm, you got it!’”

Why anyone would want to live in such a boring world of guns and ammo, with nothing but the same old, same old, year in and year out…is beyond me.