Nuclear

Let’s do this. Let’s stop pussyfooting around with half-assed “lockdowns” where some people get to sit home and get paid to be on Zoom meetings, while others are required to report to their jobs delivering comforts to that privileged class.

You “stay home, stay safe.” He’ll be right there.

As it stands today, if you’re a middle manager at a large corporation, you have the option to “stay home, stay safe,” while the minimum wage delivery person has to risk exposure to the ‘rona to bring you your Kung Pao chicken for lunch. If he decides it’s not worth the risk and chooses to “stay home, stay safe,” he gets fired. OK…in Kentucky, he could apply for unemployment on the recommendation of the governor, only to find that if his claim ever gets through, he could wind up being ordered to repay it in the end.

“About that uneployment we paid you to stay home…we’re gonna need that back.”

So let’s go nuclear and drop the big one. Let’s stop playing around and really lock down and end this whole China virus thing once and for all (as if locking down can actually accomplish that). No curbside pickup at your local grocery or restaurant. They’re closed. No food delivery. Everything…I mean everything…is closed. You can’t even go out for a drive, because gas stations are closed.

And while we’re at it, let’s close doctor’s offices, urgent care facilities, and hospitals. Hospital staff could stay on hand to care for current patients, but no new admissions. There’s no reason we should put our healthcare workers at risk, so let them “stay home, stay safe” too. Stand down all law enforcement as well. No matter your role in society, go home and hide from the virus.

Everybody…and I mean everybody…will be required to stay at home, period. And if it’s this important to “stop the spread,” then there won’t be any of this “effective next Wednesday” crap, either. Make it effective immediately. You will stay in your home and eat whatever food you have, effective immediately. There will be no last-minute run to the grocery to get ready, and no food service or grocery worker will be required to risk exposure to the the ‘rona to ensure you have chow. You will also have to stay in your home and wipe your butt with whatever you have in your home, effective immediately. No store clerk or truck driver will be required to risk exposure to make sure you have your precious TP.

MRE toilet paper laughs at your stash of Charmin.

Those of you in positions where you can work from home…where you can still provide for yourselves and your families and live a life made comfortable by others who don’t have that option…you need to check your “COVID privilege” and lock down like the rest of us. See how you like it. And before you complain that it’s not feasible, remember…if it saves one life…

“I’m your huckleberry.”